My First Lent

disclaimer: Likely, this is not my first attempt at giving up something for Lent. However, my memory is such that any previous years no longer have enough significance for me to remember them.

Last week, I felt strongly that God was calling me to give up something specific for Lent; to spend the weeks before Easter focusing on Himself and the priorities He has given me at this time. I have wrestled with the idea (and Cory's insistence that I follow it wholeheartedly) for the past few days as the beginning of Lent approaches. Living with a more intentional purpose in our time and finances has been a recurring theme lately. What I wasn't prepared for was the sacrifices that might require. And so, starting Wednesday through Easter, I am fasting from reading.

Yes, reading. This is not a traditional Lent observance; the days may not even be exact, and I'm including Sundays too. It's what God is asking of me for 2012. It is something I cannot fast completely - street signs, mail, emails, my Bible and a few other things will still be read. Any books, newspapers, magazines, online articles, most blogs, etc. are out. I'm already feeling withdrawals, and I haven't even started. I keep suggesting compromises, and my conscience that I married shoots them down.

So, why reading? If you know me much, you know I love to read. Ask my mom (or my husband) how many times it takes to get my attention when I'm engrossed in a book. As a kid, I got to the point where I would reply to questions while reading and later have no recollection of a conversation existing. I would like to say that no longer happens. At least not in the last 2 hours, I think. It rarely takes me more than a week to finish a book. When I'm reading, whether it be a novel, a book on business strategy, a blog on being a stay at home mom, or a newspaper article I randomly pick up, I'm in that reality completely. It's my go-to escape. One I've been using too often. Probably, 1-2 hours a day are spent reading. That's crazy when I think about how little free time I have now.

For the next few months, I want to practice fully engaging with people. With God. With MY life.
Reading is in the way for me.

When I did a little research on Lent (using the always reliable wikipedia), I was surprised to learn that traditionally what you give up is replaced with an increase of prayer and of giving. Prayer wasn't a suprise; the financial piece was. We've been challenged at church lately to expand the ways we give financially. It's been something on my mind often. I love how God brings what He's teaching me full circle. It's all related.

By posting this, I hope to find a little more of the accountability I need to do this fully. Thank you!

new

Happy new year!

As we enter 2012, it appears blogging is not my strength. I love the concept. I love it when I do it. I have a lot of other things that take precedence, including quite a few that don't happen. (Like the quilt I am making as a wedding present for a friend... who celebrates her 2nd anniversary this month.) I spent a few minutes looking online for a catchy blog theme or goal for the new year to keep me motivated. Then I realized it wouldn't work. I would be excited, get distracted, feel guilty, and be back where we started.

I love sharing about Wyatt's growth in this format because I can brag a little. Even more importantly, I love writing about life because I can be introspective without the pressure of a journal. Journaling is even more sporadic for me, believe it or not. I was looking at the quarter filled journal I got 4 years ago and got a little sad. How many lessons have I learned and then forgotten because I didn't take the time to record them. My problem is too many ideas for how we could do these things and none that take root.

In general, that's how I live - great start, level off, project dies before completion. Yes, I finish many things because of peer pressure and a compulsion to check things off a list. Most lists never get 100% complete in my world. A new list takes over and items fall off. So, this year, my biggest goals can't be checked off. There attitude adjustments that take the grades out of life. It's intimidating to give up my known results. If I just live to enjoy it, will I succeed? Out of my head it sounds ridiculous.

In 2012, this blog will be a nice chronicle of our family's growth (hopefully in number!).
- Of Wyatt's growth from a baby into a talking, walking boy. In the last few months he's a whole new kid. I love the interaction we have on a constant basis. He is such a Daddy's boy, and he is so much like his Daddy. What a blessing to have two happy guys reminding me what is really important. (I'm not sure if puppies and football are as important to me as to those two)
- Of my growth in becoming who God made Denise to be. Not who she thinks she has to be. Look for more smiles, less stress, and some unexpected boldness.
- Of our growth as a couple. We've been blessed with a great marriage, but I know God has something better.
- Of our growth into the world and out of our comfort zone.

cheers to twenty-twelve.

ps - thanks annemarie for inspiring me as always. you're my blogging hero.

First Step

On Monday, Wyatt took his first step. Just one foot forward, and not repeated since. But the circumstances surrounding that precious step will always be a fond memory. (Probably more so as time passes...)


Early Monday, my stomach didn't feel so great. I noticed it as Wyatt spent 1:30 to 3 crying on and off in his bed. Teething? Who knows! Around 5, it was noticeable no matter what as the contents of my stomach made their way out. A few hours later, Cory joined in the fun. We spent the first half of the day laying on the floor and taking turns ridding ourselves of whatever food our bodies still had. Whoever had thrown up most recently was in charge of the baby if he needed anything. He seemed to love getting to crawl all over us and eat food we left him on the floor.

However, by 1 it was obvious our strength had been surpassed by our baby. Reinforcements were called for and carried us through til 6. At that time, I thought in my haze that I could feed Wyatt and get him in bed then call it a day. When awakened from a nap, Cory reminded me that perhaps we should eat something before another night passed and we withered away. At this point, we all crawled to the kitchen in an attempt to do so. All Cory could get out were the saltines on the counter. As his parents tried to nibble on them, Wyatt was so thrilled by the abundance of crackers that he started grabbing any near him. Even from his poor feeble mother's hands. He was thrilled with a cracker in each hand, stood up, and took a step! I couldn't help but laugh as Cory and I laid on the floor on the kitchen unable to stand, but Wyatt could!

All ended well as our kind caregiver returned to make us soup and again the next morning to help out. By the afternoon, a friend of mine came over with her boys and entertained Wyatt for a few hours. Today, Cory was back to work and we're almost back to normal. And maybe Wyatt is just one step closer to walking :)

Pressure

Blogging every day just adds pressure to my life. I'd like to be more regular with it, but not everyday. This week has been pretty busy, and although we're doing things there isn't that much out of the ordinary to share. So, my revised realistic goal is 2+ posts a week.

I have an opportunity to do some work from home, and I know that will cut into other things a little too. Though, I have times like right now where I would definitely welcome that. Wyatt is napping, and I'm afraid to make any noise in case he wakes up too early. Is it time to turn on the heat yet? I'm so ready for the furnace to drown out my noise! But, forecast is for 80 this weekend. Better save that money to pay for the extra watering of our lawn.

Ok, I'm going to sneak out of the office to the living room to find my Bible study book. Wish me luck! It would be wonderful if this nap lasted an hour and a half - 35 minutes to go!

Injury

We had our first bloody injury today. It ended up being no big deal. Just a scary experience for all of us. I'm not sure how it happened. Wyatt looked like he just bumped his face on the light little ottomans he loves to push around the floor. He freaked our more than usual, and when Cory picked him up his mouth was full of blood. His poor little face was full of terror. It was a different hurt than usual, and he could tell we were nervous. Thankfully, it was just a little cut on the gum above his teeth. No tooth damage and in a few minutes, no big deal!

We are in for more experiences like this. Before the blood, Wyatt added a bump over his eye and a big scratch on his forehead this morning. All before church. He looks like a boy for sure!

Tantrums

Our son has a temper. And a short one at that. He has learned that we can give him things he wants and thinks yelling is a good way to let us know it's time. Yuck.

On this topic, the less said the better :)

Growing up

Today it hit me more than most - soon I won't have a baby. He's so close to walking, and his communication is right there too. I love that he is growing up and can interact so much. His personality is coming out all the time.

This morning I asked, "Wyatt, can you go get a book?" He surprised me and crawled right over to his book basket and took one out! I repeated it as he went that way, but I was so proud of him. He gets it! He has started to make a "B" sound for book and ball. I'm trying to listen for any differences. Of course, he hasn't said book since I decided to pay closer attention.

Cory thinks he says "nene" (short e sound) for me. Close to mama! That makes me laugh because my sister called me "nene" (long e sound) as a baby. Close to Denise!