Sleep

Last night as I was attempting to drift off, I found myself contemplating sleep. So often it's a given, a necessity, and I don't put much more thought to it. As a new mom, I've found it's a much more prominent need in my life. Looking back, sleep colors my life in ways I never realized. Rest, or lack thereof, determines my perspective of almost everything. Without enough sleep, little issues become huge arguments, past hurts are reopened, and on and on. Why do we ignore the importance of those precious hours of sleep until it's too late?

At this point, I don't have much of a choice except to lose some sleep. I do have a choice to make what sleep I can a priority. Sometimes it feels counterintuitive to give up time with Cory for sleep. However, I think he's much more thankful for a wife that doesn't snap when things aren't perfect. And with a newborn, things around here aren't too close to perfect. When I'm rested, I love having a baby and dealing with the other junk. When I'm tired, I don't think I can do it.

Lack of sleep is an open door for temptation for me. More than anything, I use being tired as an excuse for any of my selfishness. It's not. Obviously, it's much easier to choose what I want when I'm exhausted, but that only points out my immaturity. I see the same behavior in our two month old! When he's tired, he's cranky and he isn't satisfied until he gets what he wants. As a baby, I can deal with that. As a kid growing up, that's not going to cut it forever. And it doesn't cut it for me. I know better.

As I become more aware of my sleep choices, I have to also pay attention to how it affects other people. From my own experience, repeatedly being ignored when someone else chooses to sleep at odd hours makes you feel like dirt. On the other hand, being chosen instead of sleep at night makes you feel pretty special. It's all a balancing act.

It's amazing how much I realized had to do with sleep as I couldn't fall asleep, but Wyatt is waking up so that's all I have to say for now :)

a test of faith

Being secure in God's hand is a lot easier when bad news is just an idea out there. Today Wyatt is having a blood test to determine if he has some sort of immune issue. I didn't ask many questions, so I don't know much about it. In my mind, there is no way my baby could have a rare diagnosis for us to deal with.

Please pray with us for God's will. Either good news, or no fear of the bad. We go in at 4, they overnight the blood to the Mayo Clinic, and it gets tested tomorrow. I'm not sure yet when we hear back.

Home

There really is no place like home. It's so nice to be back in our little house with our routine starting to be established. It's also bittersweet to leave our "homes" where our parents still live. Can we transport this house as is to Seattle or somewhere close? That's my ideal choice for the future.

Traveling to see so many friends and family members was much more stressful with a baby along. Worth it totally. During this time we experienced a first haircut, first flight, first meetings with dozens of people, love at first site with a vibrating popazon chair (lifesaver for baby and mom on the first day back too!). Being back in Oregon/Washington was eye-opening. I'm in the middle of the road on whether I want to move or stay. The pros and cons of each are long. More than anything, I want to know which we'll do. My fear of the unknown is coming out strong.

One thing I do know now is that long entries are not going to be frequent here. When I have a chance to sit down without Wyatt, time is precious and the to do list is long. This is a great way to share what's going on and process a little. However, now is a great time to spend time with my husband... cleaning up

Go Seahawks!

The first team with a losing record in the playoffs... and we won! It was great to enjoy the game with family and to look forward to another weekend of wearing our jerseys. We'll even be in Washington.

Wyatt is definitely good luck for Seattle teams. This is the year, get ready Mariners.

Family Vacation

Today is the day! We're heading out in just over an hour for our first trip with Wyatt. Why do anything half heartedly? How about a 10 day trip! I'm a little nervous about a million little things that could happen over the next 10 days. Will Wyatt like flying? Will he be ok away from home? Thankfully, he's pretty curious and loves to sleep in anyone's arms. Both things should easily be taken care of.

I'm also very excited that we get to take this sort of trip. When I worked at The Navs, we could never take more than 4 days to visit family for Christmas. No more restrictions! Cory has much more vacation saved up, so we're taking full advantage of the time before he starts classes again. Tonight we fly from Denver to Portland, stay the weekend, see lots of friends. Tuesday we drive to Seattle, see more great people, and meet up with Cory's parents. The rest of the time is hanging out in Bellingham. I'm sure we'll miss so many people in the NW. Sorry ahead of time if we don't see you!

The most recent addition to our trip is some job searching for Cory. As parents being far from family is a lot bigger deal than when it was just two of us. The prospect of moving at this point in time is terrifying for me. I am just feeling minimally comfortable with the change from working to motherhood. Adding a cross country move, selling a house, finding a house, and all the other changes that would have to happen seems like too much. If it happens, we'll figure it out, right?

Time to go do the last minute clean up items and feed the little guy before we head out. I'm as ready for this adventure as I'm going to be.

The First

Welcome to my blog! After a year of wanting to start, I finally have mustered up the courage and here we are. 2010 was a year of many changes for our family, and 2011 looks to be much of the same. This time around, I'm going to keep track of our milestones - big & little.

As I went through the past year of pregnancy, job stress, and the rest of life, the passage below was my constant prayer. First for myself, a reminder that God has it all under control so I don't have to. Then, it became my prayer for the little guy growing inside me. Confidence in his Savior. If we can give him any gift, that's what I want it to be.

Psalm 112:6-8
Surely the righteous will never be shaken;
   they will be remembered forever.
They will have no fear of bad news;
   their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the LORD.
Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear;
   in the end they will look in triumph on their foes.

Wyatt David LaPlante was born just two short months ago. Together his name means Little Warrior, Beloved. (and of course, a plant, but that's not as poetic, is it?) I continue to pray that he has the confidence to fight whatever life may bring. And more importantly, that his confidence is rooted in the truth that he is beloved. Loved by God. Loved by his parents. Loved by so many!

In order to show him that love and confidence, I need to find it myself. Too often, I overlook it as it sits in front of me. So this year and going forward, I will celebrate the firsts that we've been blessed with. My hope is that I will be able to find the smaller more important firsts as I learn to be a mom. Here goes...

To start, the first blog post!